The Image Within Me

By William Propsner

As I walked along the dirt path through the forest that led to the pond where I fed the ducks, I could hear the crunching of the dry leaves that fell along the path. I could see footprints of the squirrel family that would run along the path in search of the pine nuts that would fall on the path.

There, among a small pile of rocks rested a green lizard hoping that a fly would land within reach for his morning breakfast. As if on cue, a small fly landed within easy reach of the lizards fast reflexes. His breakfast eaten, the lizard moved off the rocks and back into his hole.

The sights that I see on my morning walks to the pond always bring me joy as I see the forest creatures living their lives in peace and harmony with nature.

As I came to the clearing where I would sit and feed the ducks corn and oats, I spied a lone fox only yards away bending down to take a drink of water. The fox saw me and as our eyes met, we each knew the other. For he has seen me come to the pond for many years and he knows that I will not harm him. He stared at me for a moment then continued to drink from the pond. When he finished, he looked over at me and to me, it seemed that he smiled at me before running off into the forest. I smiled and thought how beautiful he was and that we would meet again.

Months ago, I had placed a small wooden bench on the pond shoreline to sit while I fed the ducks. The bench had taken on a weathered look during its time by the pond and in the summer sun. On afternoons the sun would move over the pond and the bench would be in the shade until the following morning. Many a time I have visited the pond in the late afternoons and have seen couples sitting on my bench arm in arm and enjoying the peaceful serenity.

On days that were only mine alone, I would sit on the bench, and after expending my supply of feed for the ducks, I would sit and contemplate my surroundings. Looking out over the large pond with its tranquil waters and slowly swimming ducks, I would think of life in general.

Then, out of the hidden recesses of my mind, I would see myself sitting on the bench. It seemed as if I was another person watching myself on the bench. Watching me as I sat alone. It was like I was a stranger to myself and seeing myself for the first time.

Then as I sat on the bench, I would look down at my hands and then my feet. I would tell myself “I am here. I am not looking at myself, but I am myself.”

This feeling would seem to last hours, yet I knew that it was only for a split second. That my mind had created the illusion of what I was seeing. Seeing me, seeing this soul sitting on a bench near a pond at the edge of the wood.

I got up and walked home thinking what a strange feeling. To be looking at myself as if I was another person.

After a few months, I had forgotten the image I had of myself looking at myself.

Then on one slow day, as I sat on the bench again, feeding the ducks and watching the fox with his little kits drink, I had the same feeling once more.

This time, I was inside myself looking at myself from the inside out. I could see my hands and my feet and I knew where I was, but I was looking at me from inside my soul. I felt detached from my body and it felt strangely peaceful.

I thought to myself, “This must be what it’s like to be in heaven, seeing yourself from inside your soul.”

The feeling was wonderful and pleasant. I could feel my mind relaxing and I felt that my head was clearer and focused.

Later that day, I thought that my personality had changed. I felt different, yet I felt the same. It was like a weight had been lifted from my soul. All my feelings were sharp and clear.

I told my friends about my experience and told them that it felt like I was inside my own body looking at myself from the inside out.

A few of my friends laughed at me and called me ‘silly’, but I knew. And then some of my friends were totally amazed and even told me that they too had feelings like I had, but not as sharp.

After reading and exploring my inner feelings, I knew what I had experienced. My mind was looking at my own spirit and was telling me that all was good in my world and I should not fear anything.

I had seen my own soul from the inside out and now I understood what my purpose in life was to be.

I was just to trust the higher being that created me and trust that my own spirit and soul was safe and secure. I saw myself and I knew that I did have a spirit. And it was good.

- Total nr. of readings: 940 Copyright © The author [2020] All Rights Reserved. This story may not be reproduced without the express written permission of the author except for personal use.