Stirfry Gets Fit

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Stirfry is a big fat lazy cat. His coat is the colour of honey. His paws are white. He loves to lie in the sun. He loves to purr, but most of all, he loves to eat. Stirfry hates cheap, nasty, dried food. When the man shops, he buys the best food, little silver trays of salmon or turkey with thick gravy. But when the woman shops, she buys, nasty, cheap, dried, food. Stirfry does not like nasty cheap, dried, food. He turns up his nose at it then sits at his master’s feet and meows and meows and meows until he gets up and fetches him some Parma ham from the fridge. Stirfry loves Parma ham.

When Stirfry isn’t eating, he is sleeping. He sleeps in front of the fire. When he gets too hot he sneaks upstairs and sleeps on the big soft bed. It is cosy there. Sometimes he dreams of big fat mice lining up in front of him just waiting to be eaten. He never, ever hears footsteps coming up the stairs. The woman always shouts.

“Sssssssscat you big fat lazy cat!”

She chases Stirfry outside into the rain. Stirfry does not like the rain. He creeps back in through the cat flap in the back door. Then he flops down in front of the fire to dry.

One day Stirfry cannot squeeze through the cat flap. He has become far too fat. Stirfry has to eat his dinner outside. He misses the fire. He misses the big soft bed. Sometimes a sleek white cat steals his food. One day Stirfry sees the sleek white cat slip in through his cat flap. The man shouts,

“Scaaaaaaaaaaat!” at the sleek white cat.

Stirfry sleeps in the sun and dreams. He dreams that the sleek white cat is sleeping in front of his fire. He dreams that the man is feeding Parma ham to the sleek white cat. He dreams that sleek white cat is lying on the big soft bed upstairs.

I will get rid of that sleek white cat, thinks Stirfry. Every day Stirfry waits for the white cat. Then he chases it. At first, Stirfry cannot run very far. But every day he runs faster and further. He will get rid of that sleek white cat soon. Then one day he chases the white cat all the way to the fish shop. The white cat never comes back. Lovely little pussycat, thinks Stirfry.

Stirfry sees himself in the fish shop window. To his surprise, he sees that he is not a big fat lazy cat any more. He is a lovely, sleek, honey coloured cat with white paws. Stirfry is so pleased that he runs all the way back home. Putting his nose to the cat flat he slips inside easily and flops down in front of the fire.

“Lovely fit little Stirfry!” says the woman. Stirfry purrs and curls up in front of the fire. When he gets too hot, he sneaks upstairs to sleep on the big soft bed. It is sooooo good to be home again.