A Full Moon Goes Bananas
By Ryan Parker
There was a full moon outside. I understand that sounds cliché, and that it’s probably overdone, but it’s really important for you to know this. There was a full moon outside the waxy yellow of an old car headlight.
It was Saturday night, and in my house, that meant my parents were going out for dinner and a movie. That also meant that, being ten years old, I was stuck at home with a babysitter. Usually, our neighbour, Jessica, comes over to watch me. She alright. She’s a high schooler and usually spends the night texting her boyfriend, so I spend the night eating pizza and playing video games in my room. It’s an arrangement that works well for both of us. But it’s summer, and she’s gone on vacation with her family, so my mom went on online and found a new babysitter for tonight.
I was reading a comic book in the living room when the doorbell rang. My dad went to answer it and came back with an old lady in tow.
“Liam, this is Mrs Bunches,” Dad said. “She’s your babysitter tonight.” Mrs Bunches smiled and waved. She had huge, pink glasses that magnified her eyes and large moles all over her face. And she was wearing a yellow tracksuit, the kind you see basketball players warming up in before their game.
“Well, aren’t you adorable,” Mrs Bunches said, bending over and smiling at me. She had a strong, sweet smell. I recognized it but couldn’t quite remember from where. “You’re just so cute I swear I could just eat you up!”
“Uh…thanks…I guess,” I replied. I mean, what do you say when an adult says something like that?
“Well, have fun you two,” my mom said.
“It’s a late movie, don’t stay up for us,” my dad chimed in just as the front door shut and they were gone.
As soon as my parents left, Mrs Bunches pulled a book of crossword puzzles and a pen out of her purse and sat on the couch. She looked up at me. “I’ll let you know when it’s time for you to go to bed.” I looked out the window. It was getting late, but since it was July, there was still a bit of sunlight left. I shrugged in response. Time for some video games, I guess.
I made my way upstairs and started playing Galaxy Defenders. It’s a game where you fly a spaceship and try to protect Earth from these evil aliens try to take over the world. I’m pretty awesome at it. After a couple of hours of playing, I was almost to the end, fighting through swarms of enemy ships to try and blow up the mother ship controlling all of the alien fighters when I heard a noise downstairs.
“Uhh…Mrs. Bunches…are you okay?” I called out. No response. I left my room and started down the stairs. “Mrs Bunches, it’s me, Liam, are you okay?” Still nothing. I got to the bottom of the stairs, and I saw a yellow blob on the living room floor. “Hello?”
Whatever was on the living room floor started to stand up. It kept getting taller and taller, until it was almost touching the ceiling. It turned around.
What stood in front of me could only be described as a half-monster, half-giant banana. It was covered in brown spots, and its mouth was open, showing two rows of pointed teeth. Drool was dripping from the sharp ends and down the side of its mouth. It had arms and legs that ended with sharp claws and was wearing a pair of large, pink glasses.
“Ah, Liam, is that you?” it said. I recognized that voice, and it was Mrs Bunches!
“What happened?” I managed to stutter out.
One of those claws pointed to the window, the nail so sharp it looked like it could pierce the sky itself. You could see the moon coming out from behind the clouds. She squinted her eyes at me. “Oh my, you do look delicious.” The words dripped out of her mouth like applesauce. “Yes, very a-peeling”. She started moving toward me.
Now, I’m going to tell you this part at the risk of you thinking I’m a wimp, but I didn’t know what to do. I had this huge, lumbering banana monster coming at me. I did the only thing I could think of. I sprinted up the stairs and locked myself in my room.
I sat on the edge of my bed, breathing hard. My hands were shaking, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
Mrs Bunches was pounding on the door!
The entire upstairs shook with every hit. There was no way the door could last much longer, and then those jaws would turn me into pudding.
I had an idea. I grabbed my video game controller. My parents didn’t splurge on the wireless one, so it had a long cord that I detached from the console. I opened my window. There was a small overhang that connected my room and the bathroom. I squeezed outside while Mrs Bunches kept banging on the door. Luckily, the bathroom window was open as well, and I was able to climb in. I cracked open the door, so I can see what’s happening in the hallway.
Mrs Bunches had broken down the door. She barged into my room. “Where are you, sweetie?” she called out. “You can’t hide from me forever.” She threw the mattress off of my bed, no doubt hoping to find me hiding under it.
With the monster distracted, I saw my chance. I ran out of the bathroom and to the stairs. I took the controller cord and tied it between the handrails on either side, about a foot off of the top step.
I jumped the cord and went down the stairs. “Mrs Bunches,” I called out from the living room, “I’m down here.” I could hear her heavy footsteps leave my room, followed by the sound of thunder as she tripped on the controller wire and fell down the stairs. The sight of a giant banana cartwheeling down the stairs would have been comical if I wasn’t fighting for my life.
Mrs Bunches was face down right in front of me in the living room. Was she unconscious? Was she hurt? Was just she playing a trick and waiting for me to get closer before pouncing? Before I could do anything, I started to hear a sizzle, and she began melting and disappearing through the carpet. After a minute, all that was left was a pair of pink glasses.
Just then, the front door opened up. It was my parents. “Oh, Liam, I didn’t think you’d still be up,” Dad said.
Mom looked around, “Where is Mrs Bunches?” I reached down and slipped the glasses into my pocket. I stood there for a second. I mean, how do you tell your parents you just narrowly escaped being eaten by a giant were-banana monster?
I shrugged. “She said something came up.”
“Alright, well, it’s past your bedtime,” Mom said.
As I walked up the stairs, I could hear Dad talking to Mom. “It’s crazy that she just left like that. She didn’t seem like she was one to just split.”