Harold the Horrid

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For Yassmine

In the days of old, when knights were supposed to be bold, and dragons were meant to be naughty,

There lived one knight who didn’t dress quite right, and his nose was terribly warty.

He was an unfair player and a shifty dragon slayer and wore a frown on his forehead.

He was impolite and sucked at being a knight. His name was Harold the Horrid.

Such a disgrace, with snot on his face, and dirt on his elbows and knees.

His armour was dull, with the sign of a skull, and his knickers were full of fleas.

Things grew tragic when he turned to magic and became a despicable wizard.

His wicked spells had horrible smells, they were made from a lizard’s gizzard.

He concocted a potion which caused a commotion and polluted the kingdom’s water.

People got sick from this terrible trick, including the king’s fair daughter.

Ameera the Fair had long black hair, and a heart as pure as snow.

When she took ill, there was no pill, to make the sickness go.

The king became flustered. ‘I want this dude busted,’ he announced from the top of his castle.

‘This guy is a pest, and I won’t rest, till we rid the land of this rascal.’

The elders from town all looked down, and couldn’t work out a solution,

Except for one man, who suggested a plan, ‘We could have an execution.’

‘No!’ the king said, as he shook his head. ‘There must be a more peaceful way.

Anyone who will, free us of this dill, a generous treasure I’ll pay.’

Meanwhile, nearby, on a mountain high, lived a dragon called Azila the Wise,

She’d been banned throughout the land ‘cause Harold spread rumours and lies.

She was a friend of Ameera in a previous era, and they played on Thursday mornings,

But Azila stayed away until this very day because of Harold’s false warnings.

On hearing Ameera’s news, she donned her sparkly shoes and her favourite shiny hat.

She headed west on her noble quest until she found where Harold was at.

Filled with talent, Azila was gallant as she defended the princess’s honour.

Incredibly brave, she confronted the knave. ‘Remove the spell you’ve put on her.’

Harold became cross. ‘Who made you the boss?’ He drew his knight-wizard sword.

He waved the blade. ‘You’re about to be slayed.’ But Azila fiercely roared.

Flames blazed with a whoosh and burnt Harold’s toosh, and he peed his flea-ridden pants.

He took off in flight after the dreadful fright and ran all the way to France.

The townsfolk cheered, they no longer feared Harold the Horrid’s power.

Gallantry lifted the spell, and the princess got well, in her room in the castle tower.

The king was relieved at what the dragon achieved and offered her all his treasure.

But Azila was kind and politely declined, she had found a worthier pleasure.

To be a friend of the princess again, was all the treasure she needed.

Saving the princess from her distress, indeed she had succeeded.

THE END

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Rating: 9.0/10 (10 votes cast)
Harold the Horrid, 9.0 out of 10 based on 10 ratings - Total nr. of readings: 321 Copyright © The author [2014] All Rights Reserved. This story may not be reproduced without the express written permission of the author except for personal use.
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3 thoughts on “Harold the Horrid

  1. Shubhrangsu

    Wonderful rhymes to make up the story. Great to see a female heroine rescuing the princess instead of brave men 🙂

    Reply
  2. Steve Heron

    Thanks Julia
    I appreciate your feedback
    I ached over those last two lines hoping I got them right. Should they be sooner? Left out all together? Reshaped? Finish completely differently? I’ll have another look.
    Smilingly Steve

    Reply
  3. Julia

    I liked this a lot. It was funny and original and gently ridiculed an adult, which children delight in, since in real life they aren’t allowed to, and in any case they cannot do it as creatively as this. It turned the knight/dragon story on its head, and kids like that too. They also require the baddies get their comeuppance, and virtue and courage are rewarded. I felt the writing quality of the last two lines was of a lesser standard, and if the author is able to re-edit them online, that would be good. Still, I liked this very much.

    Reply

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